Tuesday, December 9, 2014
Romans 12:2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
It's been a little over a month since I decided to re-commit my life to Christ and a lot has changed. I knew that things were going to change but I didn't really know how. I have given my life to Christ before but I think there is a difference between that time and this time but I would expect that because there is a difference between 19 year old me and 37 year old me.
So here are some changes that I have noticed
1) Trusting God - I mentioned in my faith journey story that I had to leave a lot of religious baggage on the side of the road. Well wouldn't you know that Enemy likes to continue to bring that back up? But being open and honest about it has helped other people work through some of the issues with me. A lot of my religious baggage revolves the concept of becoming a Christian and staying a Christian. And there are two thoughts that waged war with me. The old adage "once saved always saved" and if you walked away from the faith, then you were never a Christian to begin with. And from that, I had people and pastors from my past who greatly discouraged the idea of "re-committing" your life to Christ. That was not something that should be done. And then I have the Presbyterian background of people in my past believing that we are God's chosen people and you can't really know whether or not you are a Christian. I also had major trust issues with God loving me and that's a whole story all on its own. All of this was a great hindrance to me while I was trying to find my way back to a relationship with God.
And here is my Scripture that wipes away my baggage.. Matthew 16:24 Then Jesus said to his disciples, "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me" It's not that God doesn't care about my past. And my past is part of my life story. But God cares more about my present. God has instructed me to love Him and trust Him at this very moment and I am not going to allow my past experiences to change that reality. And I am not going to question whether I am among the "chosen" and I don't even know what to say about the fact that I re-committed my life to Christ.. I am sticking by that statement too and if you don't believe in "re-commitment" well I don't know what to say about that.
2) The desires of my heart - Psalm 37:4 - Take delight in the Lord and he will give you the desires of the heart. Matthew 7:7 Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and it will be opened to you. I was in a Beth Moore study this fall and as a struggling lost person, a lot of it didn't meet me where I was. But there was one thing that I took out of context to make my prayer. Beth did a whole week just on the phrase "when the Lord Jesus is revealed" from 2 Thessalonians 1:7 and it's talking about the 2nd coming but I remember crying out to the Lord that I didn't want to wait for the 2nd coming, I wanted Him to reveal Himself to me NOW. And He did in His timing which was less than a week from when I prayed that prayer. The desires of my heart have shifted from worldly things to Christ-like things. And the Lord has answered my prayers. I have a desire to read my Bible daily. I have a desire to share my faith in Christ. I have a desire to meet with other believers. And most of all, I have a desire to know God and follow Him. And he has given me the desires of my heart and it's the most awesome answered prayer ever. :)
3) Love - John 13:35 By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another. I am experiencing and giving love in a new way. The trusting God that He loves me.. that distrust extended to other people too. It's not that I think that I am unlovable but I just didn't understand why people care sometimes. So being brand new to a church and seeing people care about me was honestly a little frightening to me. These people don't even know me and they have loved and cared about me from the very beginning and now I get it.. They love Jesus! and their love for other people.. any other people.. just is an overflow of that and I am so thankful to have been the recipient of it from so many people. And the love and support that I have gotten from my old friends as well has been equally wonderful. It would have been more difficult had it not been for my fellow believers coming up beside me and supporting me. And through everyone, I have been given an example of how to love others and I have found my love for others..any others.. to have grown. I care more deeply about the people I know and I am more saddened when I see heart wrenching stories of people I don't know. And I am offended by more things when they are not uplifting to people even if the person is a stranger.
This post is getting too long and my insomnia is wearing off. No offense blog but yea!! So maybe I will have a transformation part 2 coming or maybe I will blog about something else. Who knows where the middle of the night will ever take me? :)
So whether you are active friend in my life or just someone who comes and reads my blog, thanks for being a part of my journey with me. You mean so much to me.